The Secret Lives of Newborns (inspired by Gretchen and Katy)

Ok, remember when you were pregnant (or, if you're a man, thanks for reading and your wife/partner/whatever was pregnant)? You were so excited and hopeful. You bought a bunch of shiny new stuff that Babies 'R' Us convinced you that you needed. You had baby showers and sniffed and accurately identified melted candy bars in diapers. You had ultrasounds and heard the heartbeat. You dreamt of holding your baby in your brand new over-priced glider with a sense of serenity heretofore unseen. You declared that you would not want to expose your precious package to nipple confusion and that he or she would not be taking pacifiers or bottles until a healthy, stable breastfeeding routine was established. You read all the books. You may have played mozart, refused to wear nail polish or dye your hair. You were going to be the best parent EVER. This child would be the smartest, cutest and most well-rounded baby in the history of the WORLD, so help you God.

The thing is, when they hand you a real, live baby, all bets are off. The secret lives of newborns include things people failed to mention to you like long, sleepless nights, ear wax, stinky feet, spit up, frustration, disgusting diapers and colic (my personal favorite). Additionally, all babies are different and there is no manual written specifically for how to manage yours. It is such a learning process and as the Johnson and Johnson commercial proclaims, "Having a baby changes everything." It changes your hormones, your relationships, your sleeping patterns your perspective, and your values, not to mention everything about your day to day. I know there are lucky parents out there who bring home their newborn and things go rather smoothly. Jason and I are not those parents. It took until the 3rd try for us to bring home an easy baby. Unfortunately for us, we already had two colic veterans at home who were ready and waiting to throw a wrench into our dream of heading home from the hospital to relax and enjoy our newborn son. Bringing babies home has not been the picture of serenity and motherhood that I had anticipated. I thought that I would sit in my shiny, new (Babies 'R' Us) over-priced glider nursing my baby to sleep as I sipped on an organic beverage and read a parenting book. Not so. It was more like me sitting there in tears as I begged my colicky (and non-english speaking) infant to nurse because as they force you to believe, "breast is best!" This scenario went on for two daughters straight. It was not the pleasure that I had thought it would be. I'm here to tell you that the popular info we receive as young parents is not always 100% accurate. Parenting a newborn is hard, emotional work and is often done by a mother who is overwhelmed and feels isolated and inadequate. I was that parent. I was married to a man who worked 90 hours a week and I had very little support in the early years. After our first daughter was born, I ended up with Post Partum Depression and suffered feelings of despair and anxiety that I cannot accurately describe in words. I eventually sought treatment, but was ashamed at having become a Parents Magazine story, a statistic and a wreck of a person in the process. Parenting is not always pretty, even the parenting of a beautiful and precious newborn. Believe me, I LOVE BABIES they are precious, amazing and a miracle in every way. I just want to put it out there that if you, as a parent haven't always felt that raising a newborn was all it was cracked up to be: that is ok. I agree with you. We still have as much love and wonder in relation to our children as the next mom. We just had a few bumps and a lot of ear wax and/or stinky feet on the way.