On Food

I often tease that when I was a kid, we used to eat dirt and sticks for most of our meals. I say this because we did not have a large supply of junk food at my house. I'm pretty sure the sources of our healthy eating were varied. I think my Mom's focus on healthy options for her kids was a backlash from being raised on junk food and burnt TV dinners. My Dad's input was from his interest in an overall healthy lifestyle, based on theories and practices in the east. My Dad has been a vegan since I was a child. Anyway, we ate together each and every night. We had a salad with almost every meal. My Mom cut up radishes on a daily basis to include them in our salads...who does that? We did not have junk food for snacks. When I was in middle school, my Mom started to regularly buy Teddy Grahams and pretzels. This was a huge deal. This is not to say that we did not enjoy treats from time to time. We drank Kool-Aid and ate ice cream. Nonetheless, we ate healthily.

As time went on, I definitely got away from these types of eating patterns. I'm not sure if it was college, a lack of time or a lack of creativity that led me to start eating like total crap. I do know that I continued eating processed and packaged foods until relatively recently. Don't get me wrong, I tried to encourage healthy eating in our home. I bought all kinds of produce. A lot of which went down the garbage disposal in favor of the likes of Pop Tarts and other pre-packaged goodness. I remember "cooking" dinner for Jason, Madda and I before Sawyer was born. I "cooked" chicken nuggets and french fries. We may have added baby carrots to the menu. Yuk. At this point, I don't even buy any of those things. Several months ago, one of Sawyer's friends was over and asked me if she could have some Trix. I told her I didn't have any and she responded by letting me know that I had them the last time that she visited. I had fed she and my daughter Trix as a snack. For me, this was a failure. I had become the mom who has junk food. I kind of wonder if that little girl was hoping for some grape pop to go with her Trix. Although I had started my rampage of improving our eating habits before this interaction, it brought back some images of some of the crap I have put into my body. Into my body- both pregnant and not. Confession: when I was pregnant with Sawyer, I think I ate dry Fruit Loops out of a cup for breakfast on most days. Often, I would wash them down with a package of un-toasted Pop Tarts. Certainly not the breakfast of champions for babies in utero. I am ashamed to admit that one Thanksgiving when Madeline was very ill with the flu, I purchased an all-in-one turkey casserole deal. The turkey came in a can and you mixed all the "ingredients" together for "Classic Turkey Dinner." Seriously. Poor Jason almost vomited on himself after taking one fateful bite. I think his nausea was followed by the shedding of a single tear. Over the loss of a real turkey dinner.

I really regret some of the things I have let my children consume. They are more than familiar with Pop Tarts, soda, chocolate milk, Fruity Pebbles, Cocoa Puffs, TV dinners and candy of all sorts. They have never, ever tasted broccoli, brussel sprouts or lima beans. Neither of my girls drink milk. They don't like orange juice. They refuse to eat oatmeal. The foods that they agree to eat are so few that I struggle to find things to offer them. They eat more yogurt (Yoplait- also known as sugar with calcium) than I can hardly believe- simply because it is one of the only things they enjoy that contains necessary nutrients. I have created these monsters because of my own inability to let them go hungry. I have been too busy, frustrated or tired to have the fight over food. However, that fight has begun. Additionally, our kids do not do a very effective job of sitting at the table and eating. This is likely because I am a short order cook who allows them to eat the food of their choice at an earlier time than their father and I eat a "real dinner." Often, they do not have their parents eating with them and therefore are not properly socialized/instructed on family meals.

I may be a bit dramatic in my confessions of the diets I have allowed for my kids. They do eat a lot of produce and I have cleared the pantry of most things processed and junky. I have even converted my junk food junkie, super sweet tooth, DENTIST of a husband to some eating habits that I would not have even hoped for 5 years ago. I attribute a lot of this turnaround to the book, "In Defense of Food" by Michael Pollan. It is an eye-opening read and really had a tremendous impact on me. Of course, other healthier choices in my life- emotionally, socially and physically have played their respective parts in my new-found love of healthy living. If you haven't read it, I encourage you to check out "In Defense of Food." You can say you read about it here first.

Summer....Summer.....Summer

Ah, summer. I have been looking forward to the days of summer since the constant snowfall of February. I envisioned myself as super-mom; taking the kids swimming, adventuring, on rides on the local trolley. Hikes in the (sort of ) woods followed by lovely picnics. Well, the metaphorical "long, lazy" days of summer are no such thing. Maybe it's the fact that air conditioning in almost every venue allows us to move just as quickly, despite the heat. Maybe it's the fact that I signed my kids up for every camp and lesson that I could find on the internet. Maybe it's the fact that we have already left town for two separate "vacations." Maybe it's just the fact that I have chosen to have three children and as I have previously mentioned, three feels like six. I can't imagine what six feels like.

This summer has been very eventful. A night at Great Wolf Lodge (a shameless plug for the place where my family gets along best), several nights at my brother's house in Minnesota, more than a week en route to and in South Carolina. Two zoo camps, one princess dance camp, 2 cheer leading camps. Currently we are in the midst of two consecutive weeks of swimming lessons. Two more zoo camps are to follow. Piano and voice lessons have been a weekly event through all this madness. After each darling daughter finishes with one more round of zoo camp, we will be all set to start our summer vacation. Unfortunately, summer will be over and Madeline will be heading to second grade and Sawyer to her second of three years of preschool (which are preceded by two years of Mommy and Me class). Do I sound as though I over schedule my kids? It sounds like it to me. Yep, I'm that mom.

I would like to think that we could stay at home every day, enjoying each others' company and smiling as we work our way through puzzles, games and crafts. It just doesn't work that way. My kids can't agree on an activity. They are too divided by their ages and abilities (6, 3, 1) to work together for any significant length of time. They have different needs and interests. They need to be stimulated in different ways. Hence all the lessons and running around.

Of course, summer is complicated not only by being rushed and accountable for being places on time. Summer is also complicated by developmental road bumps and behavioral snags in the life of a child. Madeline, who is normally the easiest of my children has hit one of the previously mentioned road bumps. Because Sawyer has learned some effective ways to manage her emotions, Madeline has stepped up as the next contestant on "I Need Constant Attention." The poor kid has been struggling with some anxiety. And when I say anxiety, I mean outright FEAR and PANIC in the face of thunder storms. And they happen alot. Especially on the beach in South Carolina. And in Indiana. And everywhere else. But not when there is a blue sky. And she is even scared of them then. I have done my best to avoid my own panic attacks over the situation; I have a significant history of engaging in unfounded worry. I have tried to let her have her process of growth. I have tried to be there for her. I have attempted to coach her through her fears. (I was a therapist, for heaven's sake.) Nonetheless, I will not stand for worries when they migrate to a place called manipulation, and I refuse to allow her to be consumed by her fears. She must face them. She is required to learn coping skills. And she is. I can see the light(ening hee-hee) at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Girlfriend is up to the challenge of facing her fears. Yesterday, she got dressed in a suit of all denim (not sure why the jean jacket was necessary) and headed outside to face her sworn enemy: THE THUNDERSTORM. She concluded that thunder storms are actually quite interesting, and after a few tears, proceeded with her day. We are one step closer.

To wrap it up, no matter what season or phase I look forward to-for the reprieve that it will bring, there is no such thing. Each and every season and phase will be filled with complications. Some of the time, I create my own complications through over scheduling or being unable to find it within myself to say no. Other times, the complications come, regardless of my best efforts and intentions. I am learning to just accept and even expect them to be there. Smooth sailing is just not an option for me. I am beginning to understand that this is a fact. Nonetheless, I accept the challenge of what is to come.