Often, one of my children will ask to help me with a common household task that looks as though it is within their realm of capability. I will often let them have a try at said task and then watch as they become frustrated, or even angered by it. A good example of such a task would be using the Shark Steam Mop. It looks like such fun with it's piping hot steam exploding from the base and the shiny purple handle. The kids consistently attempt this task, only to quit in less than five minutes. Each and every time such an incident occurs, I say the same thing, "(insert child's name), it really isn't as easy as it looks!" Madda and Sawyer have even taken to using that famous phrase before I even get the chance, when they are dumbfounded by whatever mundane task proves to require actual skill and not just passing interest.
This is how I feel about parenting. It really isn't as easy as it looks. Of course, I wanted kids. They're cute and fun and they love you unconditionally. Of course, I wanted a family and a house and 3 kids. (As many of you know, I want more kids....Jason-not so much) Having all of this dream-come-true family life is really not as easy as it looks. WOW, it is so much work and often we are not proud of the things we do as parents. Take for example, the past week in DeWitt parenting:
Last Wednesday, I decided to take the two youngest to Jason's work so that we could have a picnic at the park across from his office. Sounds like a good idea, right? Wrong. If you ever hear me suggest that I will take the kids for a nice lunch with Daddy, please remind me that there has never been one time where that delusional idea has turned into a positive reality. Last week's picnic was no exception. Sawyer was her usual, um, spirited self. Eamon decided to poop his pants and I was forced to change him in the grass, using 3 wipes on a 10-wipe assplosion of a diaper. I held his legs over his head and had him braced tightly so that he would not reach around and grab a handful of his own excrement. He cried and fussed as I held him. He always does; Dude has things to do. However this time, he was crying because in holding his legs above his head, in said restraint, I unwittingly caused him to projectile vomit all of his lunch (and that is a sizable amount) into the grass when he stood up. I could not have felt worse. Mark that in the book at the top of the "careless parenting strategies" page.
Later that same day, Jason (who was really glad that he was not the one to make his son vomit) was messing around in the drawers in the kitchen while Eamon looked on. Because the computer was sitting on the counter above said drawers, Jason assumed Eamon was fussing because of his lack of access to that most sought after toy. Not so much. Jason walked away from Eamon to perform his next task while I was engaged in talking Sawyer off the proverbial ledge. Eamon continued to stand near the drawers with his back to me, and cry. More than once, I uttered a, "You're ok, buddy" or a, "Eamon, that is enough!" Finally, after 30 seconds (or more), Jason returned to the scene to notice that Eamon was crying, not because he wanted the laptop but because his finger was tightly shut in a drawer. Jason quickly accepted his throne as he was then crowned the King of careless parenting for the day.
Of course, these two examples are far from an exhaustive list of the mistakes Jason and I have made. Seriously. That was just one day. Parenting is MUCH harder than it looks. The love that we have for our children is only the beginning of the equation. Thoughtful, careful and intentional parenting is tricky. Some of the choices we make are not always based on the most informed set of principles. Often, we act from a place of emotion or simply because we are rushed, tired and have a list longer than Santa's of things to accomplish. I admit that I need to slow down and pay better attention to what I am doing. This parenting thing is simply much harder than it looks. Who's with me??
