There are a few things that I have picked up over my 37 years. None are earth-shattering or will change your life immediately. They are simply truisms that people have said to me over the years. Some of the comments came in the form of unsolicited advice, some in the form of a narrative from the speaker, some from books. Here are some things I know to be true...at least for my life:
1. Do not make predictions about the future of anything. Life shuffles the cards on you constantly and you never know the next hand you will be dealt.
2. A friend once told me that her mom was a good mom because, "she made being a kid fun." I want my kids to say that about me. Not that I was their friend, but that being a kid was fun. It really is the only chance we get to have good, unadulterated (ha!) fun.
3. Marrying the right person makes all the difference.
4. There is no book or expert who knows better than you how to raise your children. Do what is right for your family. The author of that book does not know your kids.
5. Teaching a child to be a good sleeper is the gift that keeps on giving.
6. Listen. What people really need is a good listening to.
7. Be Here Now.
8. A good babysitter is a gift you give yourself. Use that birthday money to pay the babysitter so that you can leave the house.
9. Your kids are listening. Especially when you're on the phone.
10. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time.
11. Anger is a wasted emotion.
12. Exercise is essential. Our bodies MUST move.
13. Eat healthy food and you will feel better. I promise.
14. Don't talk negatively about others. It is a waste of your time.
15. The days are long, but the years are short.
16. The older I get, the better I feel.
17. Staying home is easier than going anywhere when you have 4 kids.
18. Whether your kids are making a million dollars or their bed, let them know that you are proud of them. That is your job. Your are their most important person.
19. Don't take yourself too seriously.
20. Even if you stray a bit, you will come back to what you know. What you know just makes more sense.
That is what I know. Tell me your principles to live by. I need all the help I can get.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Sense Of Humor Mandatory
Almost five months into our lives as parents of four, we have been asked innumerable times, "So, how is it having four?" My response? "It's great, really fun." On the inside, I''m thinking, "It's a ton of work and I'm exhausted but this is what I wanted." Honestly though, it is fun. And a challenge. And exhausting. And rewarding. And hilarious.
Jason and I have figured out that in order to get through the chaos, a sense of humor is absolutely necessary. Having said that, Jason isn't the member of our team who is in charge of planning for the immediate or near future. This can lead to some moments where I would like to yell at him and act like an arrogant ass however, I know that his heart is ALWAYS in the right place and that he would never mean to screw up my delicate balance with his free-spirited ways. Nonetheless, he does. Because he's Jason. And he lacks the ability to plan ahead. That is where I come in.
I planned an orthodontic appointment for Madeline very early in the morning this past Tuesday because she is attending day camp that begins at 9:30 and is located 40 minutes from our home. I asked Jason to take her to the appointment because he is a dentist AND because dragging four children to the orthodontist's office at 7:30 a.m. sounds like a nightmare. The appointment was to take 45 minutes per the doctor. Now, as a regular visitor to their office, I have learned that they are ALWAYS on time (shocking, I know) and that their appointments ALWAYS wrap up before the amount of time allotted. For those reasons, 7:30 was perfect timing for us to make it to camp. We would need to leave the house at 8:50 and would make it in plenty of time. I know this because I am a planner. Our lives are planned to the minute on most days. Any errors in judgement are critical and can send our delicate balance off kilter. That's where Jason comes in.
Of course, this appointment was taking longer that any appointment at this orthodontist, EVER. So, I called Jason and let him know that I would put the other 3 children in our mini-van and meet him at the half way point in order to save time and get everyone where they needed to be. This was an intervention that I had already constructed in case of emergency, and I was ready to head to the garage when my husband (sweet natured, not a planner) lets me know that he has taken our van. And why not? He had the only child in our family who is not required by law to be in a car seat. And all the car seats were in the car he had taken. The car that I always drive. The car he never drives. Because he has his own car with no car seats. Perfect for transporting he and his nine-year-old. So what did I do? I did what any mother of four with a deadline would. I successfully strapped 3 children into my husband's car illegally and left the house. Sawyer did not use a car seat. Eamon sat in one that was clearly meant for someone 2 years his junior. Truman's infant carrier had some inadequate slots that were perhaps meant for a seat belt, covered up by the fabric of the carrier itself. So, I went ahead and moved the fabric out of the way and fed a seatbelt through the slots. And off I went. For a 3 mile drive to meet my husband who was now speeding to meet me at the half way point. We both pulled into the parking lot of the seedy Citgo on Purdue's campus and began transferring bags, towels, lunches and people from one car to the other. Of course, there was no need to transfer the car seats. Those were already in my van. Jason apologized, I let him off the hook with a promise that he would always be reminded what a saint I am, and I hopped into the car, grateful for the stress of having four awesome kids. And a husband who does not plan ahead.
As I got ready to pull away and head to drop the girls off at day camp, I looked to my right and noticed two construction workers leaning over a barrier between the seedy Citgo and the enormous apartment construction site next door. Both were dressed in yellow hard hats, jeans, and t-shirts, however one of them had added a bit of flare to his outfit. Flare in the form of 8 inches of well-tanned plumber crack. Certainly more crack was visible than covered and I began to laugh hysterically from the humor of it all. The stress, the kids fighting, the transfer of 1000 items for one day of DeWitt-hood, but most of all the plumber crack staring me in the face. Jason looked over at me from his car and I silently gestured to the mother-of-all-plumber-cracks. He bursted with laughter, and again I felt the simpatico that we have shared from the moment we met. We both drove away and were quickly stopped at the first light out of the seedy Citgo. I looked over to see my husband still laughing. Tears from laughter were rolling down my face and the stress was gone. As I said, a sense of humor is mandatory when you have children.....or a husband.
Jason and I have figured out that in order to get through the chaos, a sense of humor is absolutely necessary. Having said that, Jason isn't the member of our team who is in charge of planning for the immediate or near future. This can lead to some moments where I would like to yell at him and act like an arrogant ass however, I know that his heart is ALWAYS in the right place and that he would never mean to screw up my delicate balance with his free-spirited ways. Nonetheless, he does. Because he's Jason. And he lacks the ability to plan ahead. That is where I come in.
I planned an orthodontic appointment for Madeline very early in the morning this past Tuesday because she is attending day camp that begins at 9:30 and is located 40 minutes from our home. I asked Jason to take her to the appointment because he is a dentist AND because dragging four children to the orthodontist's office at 7:30 a.m. sounds like a nightmare. The appointment was to take 45 minutes per the doctor. Now, as a regular visitor to their office, I have learned that they are ALWAYS on time (shocking, I know) and that their appointments ALWAYS wrap up before the amount of time allotted. For those reasons, 7:30 was perfect timing for us to make it to camp. We would need to leave the house at 8:50 and would make it in plenty of time. I know this because I am a planner. Our lives are planned to the minute on most days. Any errors in judgement are critical and can send our delicate balance off kilter. That's where Jason comes in.
Of course, this appointment was taking longer that any appointment at this orthodontist, EVER. So, I called Jason and let him know that I would put the other 3 children in our mini-van and meet him at the half way point in order to save time and get everyone where they needed to be. This was an intervention that I had already constructed in case of emergency, and I was ready to head to the garage when my husband (sweet natured, not a planner) lets me know that he has taken our van. And why not? He had the only child in our family who is not required by law to be in a car seat. And all the car seats were in the car he had taken. The car that I always drive. The car he never drives. Because he has his own car with no car seats. Perfect for transporting he and his nine-year-old. So what did I do? I did what any mother of four with a deadline would. I successfully strapped 3 children into my husband's car illegally and left the house. Sawyer did not use a car seat. Eamon sat in one that was clearly meant for someone 2 years his junior. Truman's infant carrier had some inadequate slots that were perhaps meant for a seat belt, covered up by the fabric of the carrier itself. So, I went ahead and moved the fabric out of the way and fed a seatbelt through the slots. And off I went. For a 3 mile drive to meet my husband who was now speeding to meet me at the half way point. We both pulled into the parking lot of the seedy Citgo on Purdue's campus and began transferring bags, towels, lunches and people from one car to the other. Of course, there was no need to transfer the car seats. Those were already in my van. Jason apologized, I let him off the hook with a promise that he would always be reminded what a saint I am, and I hopped into the car, grateful for the stress of having four awesome kids. And a husband who does not plan ahead.
As I got ready to pull away and head to drop the girls off at day camp, I looked to my right and noticed two construction workers leaning over a barrier between the seedy Citgo and the enormous apartment construction site next door. Both were dressed in yellow hard hats, jeans, and t-shirts, however one of them had added a bit of flare to his outfit. Flare in the form of 8 inches of well-tanned plumber crack. Certainly more crack was visible than covered and I began to laugh hysterically from the humor of it all. The stress, the kids fighting, the transfer of 1000 items for one day of DeWitt-hood, but most of all the plumber crack staring me in the face. Jason looked over at me from his car and I silently gestured to the mother-of-all-plumber-cracks. He bursted with laughter, and again I felt the simpatico that we have shared from the moment we met. We both drove away and were quickly stopped at the first light out of the seedy Citgo. I looked over to see my husband still laughing. Tears from laughter were rolling down my face and the stress was gone. As I said, a sense of humor is mandatory when you have children.....or a husband.
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