Wherein I Stray from the Original Topic

I remember being a child, and the Cleveland summers spent at the pool, having lemonade stands, and playing in my neighborhood. When we were quite young, we had a babysitter. After a couple summers of supervision, my brother and I were on our own and we faired pretty well. I do not remember having my summer structured to the point that down time was a luxury. Structure was something reserved for the school year. I remember days being long and bright and full of self-entertainment. Now is the point in this post when I start to question (complain) the pressure I feel to have my children involved in so many activities that our summer schedule starts to resemble our school schedule, except for the fact that it costs more. I ask all my mommy buddies about what their children will do this summer. We share information about various camps- drama camp, Wolf Park Camp, swimming lessons, Girls Scout Camp, tennis lessons, YMCA camp, pottery camp, basketball camp. The possibilities are endless. So are the costs. It occurred to me that my parents barely had me in any structured activities in the summer aside from swimming lessons. Interestingly, I'm fairly certain that they had me in swimming so that they could drop me off at the pool or beach and be confident that I would not drown. No babysitter included. I entertained myself. My children are young, yes. They require supervision. The fact is, I am concerned that this need to constantly structure my children's time is resulting in them expecting me to entertain them...indoors and out. They need a darn instructor/teacher to give them details on the next event in their lives.

I wonder if I chose to opt out of structured activities for the summer (and the school year, for that matter), if my children would find a sense of freedom and joy in their daily activities that they are so far, unfamiliar with. I wonder if they would find long days full of sunshine where friends and trees and bugs are enough. Where they do not need a coach or a camp counselor or a teacher or even a hovering parent. Where their imagination does all the work. I wonder if I could find it within myself to not feel as though I am cheating my child by not involving them in every opportunity that comes their way. I wonder if I could swallow the guilt I inevitably feel when I learn that Little Johnny and Sallie Sue are taking such and such a lesson and thriving because of them, while my children are hanging in the backyard and playing freeze tag. I wonder if I can accept that I cannot give my children everything.

I fully realize that this pressure is in my head. Clearly, I have control of what my children are involved in. Regardless, "mommy guilt" creeps up on me and I have to weigh all of my options. When the weighing is over and I come to brass tacks on this particular brand of guilt, I have to opt in. At least in moderation. If I kept them in the house with me and left them to their own devices for the two and a half-month duration of summer, I would surely lose my mind. And that folks, is why there are so many option for children in the summer.

Mother's Day- The Unorthodox Edition

Mother's day 2011 has come and gone, and the memories are pure joy and splendor. Before you start thinking that I'm going to recount moments of pleasure in seeing my children's handmade cards, or the excitement of opening my new Kate Spade purse, let me be clear on how I spent mother's day this year: I was able to complete a project, from beginning to end without interruptions of any kind. Yes folks, I mulched my front and side yards. They look awesome. Additionally, I spent time with my husband. The reason I was able to complete such tasks? My kids were not home. Nope. I didn't see them from 2pm Saturday until 6pm Sunday. And that was fine with me. A mother's day well spent.

I know some more traditional moms may be gasping in horror at my total lack of interest in spending mother's day with those who gave me the title to begin with. I don't care. Let's be honest- every day is mother's day at my house. I spend A LOT of time with my kids. I do not work outside the home. I feel their love every day. I can only hope that they feel mine. Dressing up and heading to the country club (or Cracker Barrel or Red Lobster) for Mother's Day brunch does not do it for me. I'll take some time to accomplish necessary tasks and talk to my husband. It is due to him that I have these wonderful offspring. Why not enjoy some time of reflection with him? (And mulch the yard, of course.)

And reflect we did. On a real date on Saturday night. In Indianapolis. With sushi. And wine. And immature behavior at Starbucks while eating dessert (aka coffee so that we wouldn't fall asleep on the drive home). We held hands. We texted while sitting at the same table, about the people around us. On Sunday, we ran a loop around Purdue together, followed by eating bagels in silence; all the while drinking coffee and reading USA Today at Einstein's. And later, what a pleasure it was to look at my freshly mulched yard from across the street, as I stood next to my husband and talked about future projects to spruce up the homestead. Of course, we'll have to see if the in-laws will watch the kids over Father's Day weekend if we really want to accomplish any of those plans.