Disney Breakdown

This morning, as Jason got ready for work, he was looking rough. Diagnosis? Disney hangover. We arrived home late last night from our family trip to Disney World. Today I feel as though I was hit by a truck. That truck was driven by a mouse in red shorts. As many who I see often know, I was the least excited person ever to book a trip to Disney. The thought of what we were going to encounter in terms of crowds, meltdowns, heat, and cost was enough to give me a panic attack.

I planned this trip more than 6 months ago and had to enlist the help of a travel agent. (She rocked) I truly had no understanding of anything related to Disney World. I didn't even know the names of the parks, outside of Epcot. (Of course, I knew of Epcot because I was 8, and a Michael Jackson fan in 1982 when the place opened.) I honestly didn't even have a working knowledge of the fact that the place where Cinderella's castle is located is called "The Magic Kingdom." I had never heard of "Disney's Hollywood Studios" and I knew little to nothing of "The Animal Kingdom." If you ask me a question about "The Walt Disney World Resort" (I love using quotes to emphasize) now, I could probably answer it with the utmost accuracy and a give a tip to boot.

Because I am type-A, I had to go a bit overboard in the planning of this trip. A friend told me about The Unofficial Guide - Walt Disney World and of the touring plans the book provides. (See touringplans.com if you are interested) The idea of showing up at Disney World with no plan is more than enough to make me start sweating and to get my heart pounding. We showed up with a plan, and then some. What I found was that the touring plans worked, I didn't mind the crowds, and I liked Disney World. I drank the Kool-Aid. Our family had a magical time. On a side note, I have several moral objections to some of the practices and will address them in another blog. Look for the title, "The Dark Side of Disney."

If there is one thing to report, Disney does not scrimp on anything. I cannot imagine the resources necessary to operate this place on a daily basis. The Animal Kingdom has a safari ride that had our mouths gaping open. The animals roam free in a African savanna. Madeline nearly touched a rhinoceros as our car passed. I saw more elephants than in all the zoos I have ever visited added together. An ostrich passed us after checking on it's giant eggs. The practices at this park that educate its guests are outstanding, and I commend the recycling program and use of paper straws. Our kids liked this park however, after the major attractions, they were ready to leave and go swimming. Jason and I loved it and the meal we had was great. We had pulled pork sandwiches at The Flame Tree Barbecue and Jason was a bit annoyed that Disney can mass produce better pulled pork than he can make in his backyard smoker.

Epcot is a phenomenon. (The 1982 in me refers to it as "Epcot Center" but I don't think that is the preferred nomenclature.) Again, the focus on the environment and education of guests is outstanding. Our kids preferred Epcot, although we saw so little of it that I feel I can't really make an assessment of the place. The grounds are beautiful and the Finding Nemo ride was a favorite with our young children. Probably the most impressive experience of my trip was on Soarin' at Epcot. This ride puts you in a simulated hang glider and "flies" you through the diverse terrain of California. The medium providing the experience is an Imax-type screen, coupled with wind machines and various scents designed to heighten the experience. It was exhilarating. There was so much to do inside at Epcot. It would be a great place to go on a rainy day.

On the rainiest day of the year, we went to Disney's Hollywood Studios. It literally did not stop raining for the 7 hours that we toughed it out at this park. I'm not sure that I could report what the place looked like. Because of my poncho, I did not have peripheral vision and the rain obscured my view of everything. We went on Toy Story Mania and it was an all-around hit. Jason was especially proud of his score on this 3-D shooting game based on the movie. I would love to return to this park someday and see what it looks like. Most of it is such a blur and this is my one regret about this trip.

Finally, on the two final days, we went to The Magic Kingdom. Because we knew that our kids would like this place best, we took them there last. The other parks would have been a significant let-down to them. (This was only a hypothesis of mine in the beginning however, it was proven by their not asking if we could leave and go swimming 100 times like at all the other places.)

It is surprising how hard this place is to access. You can't even park at The Magic Kingdom. Instead, you must park in a lot and then take a tram to a train; finally arriving with droves of other mouse worshipping suckers. We made that mistake only once, and decided to take the boat from our resort on our second day. The Magic Kingdom is truly larger than life. The jaw-dropping moments never end. Cinderella's castle is a sight to behold. I could feel myself tearing up while my children jumped up and down and had their pictures taken in front of this iconic sight. It took 2 days to see this park and we saw it all. As I write, I get teary-eyed just thinking how much fun our kids had. The "cast members" call little girls "princess" and despite my personal objections to encouraging princess-like behavior, our girls were so tickled each and every time it happened, that I have to smile when I think of it. Additionally, Eamon was repeatedly called "space ranger" and given a salute. Hilarious. On our final day, the girls dressed in their princess get-ups and were called by their "princess" names. We rode nearly every ride and saw nearly every show. We stayed late on this last day and saw the fireworks. They were spectacular. Eamon, who had never before seen fireworks, was in awe and was unable to stop saying, "Mama, I like that!"

I am so grateful that we were able to take our kids on this vacation. We had so many funny and memorable moments. Jason and I were surely just as enamored by the Disney magic as our children. The place is just unreal. The money that you spend is worth it. Disney is not trying to cheat you out of anything. They give you an experience that you will remember. My greatest tip to those planning to visit this larger than life place is to PLAN AHEAD. Disney preys on those who have not. Bring everything you can with you and you will save a fortune. Practice saying no to your children as soon as you book you trip. Let them know in advance what kind of souvenir they can expect to bring home. For that matter, stay out of the gift shops all together. There is much more to Disney than shopping. Finally, expect to come home with the biggest hangover you can imagine. The Disney Hangover.