Last weekend, on the hottest day of the year, in the midst of a "paint your own pottery" party my oldest daughter turned 7. Two days later, she started 2nd grade. I'm not sure how this all transpired- the past 7 years, I mean. Nonetheless, my darling, dainty little angel is now an "edgy" 7-year old who no longer claims pink OR purple as her favorite colors. She prefers blue. She now wants to play the guitar and refuses to carry her old book bag because it has "princess" written on it. The past year in her life has been full of bumps and bruises. *Growing pains, if you will.
I have a type-A child. I know that she inherits much of this from her father who used his right-brained-ness to get to where he is today without killing any patients under anesthesia. I know that he has mild OCD when I see him obsess over the best way to smoke a chicken in the Weber or stain a deck. These types of projects apparently require hours of research. What surprises me is how much my daughter is like me. I'm the type-A one. I was just in disguise for a long time. When I see my (now) 7-year old worry about thunderstorms and possible job loss and attempt to control everything in her environment, it is like looking in a mirror. She is her mother's child. That being said, It has gotten to a point in parenting my children where I am no longer directing and redirecting. I am no longer providing just behavior management, stimulation, nourishment and love. I must now provide counsel to my daughter as she navigates the murky waters of school, friendships and the future. I have opened a dialogue with my 7-year old about things that were never discussed with me as a child. Maybe because it was the 80's and parenting was different, maybe because my mom worked 14 hours a day and had little energy for such things, maybe because I was a therapist in a past life (like 4 years ago). Regardless of the reasoning, it has come to my attention that Madeline will need my counsel. Maybe because she is type-A and has a tendency to worry. Maybe because I expect so much of her. Maybe because I am making up for the counsel that I was due. It makes no difference. I look forward to the conversations. I love to talk. Here are some topics we have an open dialogue about at this time:
1. What jobs pay a decent and real living wage. (seriously?)
2. Menstrual cycles. (Yep.)
3. How to stand up for yourself in the face of bullying. (*see above note about growing pains)
4. How babies get into a woman's body. (THE TRUTH)
5. Responsibility and organization. (organization is not a natural instinct for either parent)
6. Christianity and other religions. (Yikes!)
Geez...what will we be discussing when she's 13? Most importantly, Happy Birthday Madeline! I could not be any more proud of you. You are truly beautiful, intelligent and kind. I'm not sure what I did to make you choose me as your mommy, but I am so glad you did.
i love it. i've already thought about the things that were so TABOO when we were young that parents never talked about. my mom handed me a book that contained just about all of the things on your list....well, okay it was a book about 2, 4 and relationships. except the page about sex was stapled together so i couldn't read it. of course, my 4th grade macgyver skills knew how to use a staple remover and cleverly follow the holes in order to re-staple the pages just as they were, but it's just the thought of her, not knowing what to do. it was a book someone she worked with gave to her... can you imagine? not knowing and going with a coworker's method- and a horrible one at that? hilarious. ...and i learned it all anyway. in 7th grade...during music class. and on one class trip that involved a bus ride and a boy named david, but that's for another blog.
ReplyDeletealso, will you be my mom in another life?
I love reading about your life. It reminds me, life is beautiful. From the mundane to the miraculous...all of it. Beautiful.
ReplyDelete