Jeff Foxworthy-ish

Ok, the intention of this blog is to bridge the communication gap between our family and the family and friends who may (or may not) care about life in the DeWitt circus. I have come to realize that blogs can often take on a life of their own, often becoming an opportunity for people to rant about things. I do not want to use this blog in that way. However in my daily life, I often find myself observing people and then analyzing their behavior ( I am a student of human behavior, after all-I have 2 degrees to prove it). People just crack me up. Especially when I can see their behavior and identify with it based on my own life experience. Maybe it's a way of laughing at myself while getting a kick out of others. So here is my Jeff Foxworthy-ish tribute to first time parents:

You Know You're a First Time Parent When:

1. You dress your baby in "sleep sacks" because blankets are so dangerous.
2. Babies R Us has manipulated you into thinking that you need so much baby gear that you can no longer get through your house.
3. You have a wipes warmer. Enough said.
4. You take your Boppy to breastfeed outside the home.
5. The nursery is done ahead of due date, complete with matching bedding.
6. You have not let the baby "cry it out."
7. You sanitize everything, all the time.
8. Your child is perfectly coiffed and dressed and has matching shoes on the correct feet.
9. You plan to shield your precious child from the evils of television.
10. You take pictures of everything and plan to archive every moment in a scrapbook for posterity's sake.

Bless your hearts, first time parents. You are so sweet and caring. You take such superior care of your children. I know this because I was once in your shoes. I now have 3 children and I am lucky if I can get their hair brushed and put clean clothes on them before we leave the house, if we leave the house.