After 9 months of guessing, it turns out that my hunch was wrong and another baby boy was born. He is nothing short of a little doll. He does nothing but sleep, eat, and poop. I feel like he should be doing something else however, I'm grateful for the reprieve and built-in time for recovery from c-section #4.
So, I now have what I had always hoped for. 4 kids. I feel great and the kids seem to be adjusting very well to the new dynamics of our household. Jason is enamored with baby Truman and has repeatedly stated that he is thrilled by the birth of our second son. As many know, he was not the leader (or follower) of the campaign for child #4. He is now the president of the Truman fan club. I wonder if he is finally in a place where he can truly enjoy the wonders of a newborn baby. Each previous birth was somehow punctuated by a stressful event and I am so happy that Jason is seeing the pure joy of new life. I was able to truly enjoy when Eamon was born and I can only echo Jason's words upon the birth of Truman, "It was magical." At nearly 37, I can't believe how relaxed we both feel having this baby in our house. I was nearly in tears for the last week of this pregnancy, fearful that I had upset the delicate balance that we had finally struck with the 3 children we already had. I was concerned that our marriage would suffer, that our kids would be a mess, and that I would simply not be up to the challenge. In an interesting unfolding of events, Jason has risen to the occasion in a way that was beyond any expectation that I could have had, the kids LOVE Truman, and I feel very Zen about the whole thing.
Truman is now 12 days old and I know that we will never have another baby. I am too old and I would not do that to my body ever again. Closing the chapter on this part of my life will be a challenge. However, knowing that our family is complete will help me finalize that phase. It is no longer time to reproduce. It is time to grow.
